Welcome to Chicago.
I’m finally settled in and think that it’s a great time to start reflecting on how quickly things in life have felt normal again. The past two weeks were the slowest I’ve had in possibly two years, and that’s one of the most exciting aspects I’ve experienced so far. It’s easy to fall into routine and not realize how quickly time passes in familiar moments.
Programming and making games is on the backburner temporarily. I potentially have made a poor decision by overworking myself, through both an on campus job and attempts to socialize/join clubs. I’m feeling more motivated than ever to see where this career and interest will take me, but am too unsure and unfocused to settle down and create something I can be proud of.
I am under the impression that the city is good for me, as meeting new folks every single day alongside getting the benefit of walking everywhere has increased my mood tenfold. While the ever looming debt hangs above me I am simply choosing to ignore it. One day I’ll pay it off, and one day I’ll have enough money so that I can buy whatever I want. My concern should be setting myself up to make a concept that will take me to where I want to be.
I’ve never been a party guy. The idea of so many people who I could leave a negative impression on gets to me. I understand that nobody really cares, but it still makes me feel anxious. I’m a guy who likes having his people; when going to events, having someone you know well and wants to talk to you brings comfort. I’d say I am willing to escape my comfort zone when it comes to a lot of things, but striking up conversation with a rando is not something I’m typically comfortable with. The reason I mention this is because there have been a few parties in which I was invited, but luckily was able to get out of. Would I have managed to survive? Probably. The issue isn’t that. I enjoy doing familiar things with familiar people. Sometimes logic gets outweighed by emotion.
It’s nice to feel myself again. I’m going to the gym, learning new things, and excited to get started on the next big thing. I just need to dedicate some time to it.
I’ll attach a neat picture of Chicago from the bridge near UIC. I visited a friend there and realized how nice Lincoln Park is. Once the leaves start to fall I’ll update with some of it.