AJ

Well over a month without a post and I certainly have gone through some change. Hell, I started a whole new project and almost finished the production cycle on. Nothing kicks out the feeling of imposter syndrome greater than actually putting your whole self into a project and making something pretty spectacular.

Life has passed through at an incredible rate and things have developed in a short period of time. I’ve found the person I plan to move in with next year, started work on two fun external projects, learned an ungodly amount of Japanese, and went through a weird self-improvement portion of my life in less than six weeks.

These past two months have validated my love for programming and making games as a whole. While I know my skill is limited I do hope that games continue to be in my future for the coming years of my life.

Spring break is rapidly approaching and will bring the dawn of a new personal project that I can hopefully put lots of time into. Unfortunately, I’ve been heavily stressed with silly classwork and certain aspects about my in-class projects and how many parts aren’t coming along as I’d like. Every moment not working on homework or getting ahead after the fact puts a guilt on me because I know there’s more that can be done. I need to make good games now so that I can get a job in the future. When future employers see the work I’ve done I pray I can sustain and grow as an individual.

I’m sure one day I’ll look back and think I should’ve enjoyed the moment rather than pushing for the next milestone, but I believe I’ll feel rested knowing the things I have created were worth the effort. Who knows, though. At this rate we’re not likely to see another 30 years. Politics up in the air internationally (sticking our noses where we shouldn’t) and climate all will bring hardship. I just want to live relaxingly and happily without worry. We’ll see, though.

I hope to show some sort of progress soon, but life gets busy.

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